Mac user

Hey. Are you in the middle of it?

No.

Are you at work?

No, at home.

Can you... um... I have a computer question. Are you an iBook person?

// you KNOW I don't have an iBook //

I don't have an iBook, but I'm sure I can help you. I've helped you before, remember?

Yeah. Well, you see, my mail is all fucked up. You know new mail always comes in at the top? Well now it's all messed up and it comes in somewhere in the middle and I can't find it.

Sounds like it's sorting on subject, not on date.

// Other phone rings //

Hello? HELLO? Well FUCK OFF so.

// Doorbell rings //

Now the doorbell rings. I'm fucking on the phone. This is my life. This is my life for the last month. Hello? How'ye. I'm on the phone. Yeah, um...

Your mail.

Yeah, um... it's messed up.

Are you near your computer?

I was opening the door! [...] I'll start it up. It's warming up now. Anyway, while it's doing that...

(30 minute convo)

OK, so take it easy...

But what about your mail?

Huh?

I was supposed to help you with your mail.

Oh... yeah, um...

What e-mail programme do you use? Entourage?

No. Um... I don't know. Just...

OK, look at your mail. See the column with the date? Go right to the top. What's there?

Um... there's a little light to see how much battery you have and...

No, in your mail programme. Your mail is divided into columns. What's at the top of your date column? Can you click that?

I don't understand.

Riiight...

I'm sorry, I am not very good at this.

Etc.