"I didn’t know I was this geeky until I discovered the online world through my office’s 2400 baud modem back in ’93." Ceci n’est pas un midlife crisis
I’ve been going on about ‘monumental change’ since the start of the year, but to be honest I had and still have little idea what kind of change exactly. I’ve given up on growing up, it just isn’t going to happen. I’ll happily tag on to the current ‘gruppy’ fad, how convenient. So what else is there that I could work on?
A new job would be a kind of change. I’ve thought about it and have actually ventured out there and tried my luck, but the experience taught me that it’s not all bad where I am at the moment. In fact it’s pretty good. Pretty cool colleagues (although the age difference is starting to smart), smack in the eye of the web/tv/radio digital hurricane, excellent work agreement, ok pay. It’s the commuting that takes it out of me, the crowded trains, the daily loss of 2 hours… Honestly, workers should get paid for their travel time. But even commuting isn’t all bad – it gives me time to read, if I don’t fall asleep before I turn the page.
The ‘monumental’ hinted at my living quarters: I seriously want to renovate the house. And by renovate I mean turn it inside out: move the kitchen, move/build a proper bathroom, extend the bedroom. Problem: it costs serious money, which I don’t have. I would have to look into a loan. And find a builder. And someone to draw the plan. And then live with strangers about the house for weeks. All this scares me, I don’t know where to start.
I’ve thought about going back to school. I’d like to get into university, work on my non-existent academic brain. Since I don’t have the right diploma to go to university, I would have to do what’s called a ‘colloquium doctum’: an extry exam. The course I am interested in is Art History, for which three ‘O level’ exams are required: Dutch, English, and a history test based on one (1!) book. Heh. Fingers, meet nose.
So, getting in wouldn’t be too hard, it’s staying put that poses the problem. I know I couldn’t hack it with a full time job, I simply haven’t got the energy. Also – I’ve got the concentration span of an amoeba, so unless the teacher’s gifted, I zone out.
Still, I’m keen on educating myself about art, so I enquired what the current standard text book is for students of art history. Apparently Janson’s History of Art is it. Amazon had it for 25 euro less than in the shop. I’m stacking up on the Oxford History of Art publications, starting with ‘After modern art 1945-2000′ I also picked up Rudi Fuchs’s ‘Painting in the Netherlands’.
Reading more doesn’t constitute change, but it’ll keep me from worrying about it.
