I’m looking at you, Jeremy Paxman.

‘He sings from his underpants. Um… that should be underbelly. And in his spare time, he’s a transvestite.’

Armenia, Bulgaria, Andorra, Belarus… all fantastically out of tune and out of synch with the rest of the planet.

Three hours to go. I’m doing this for work. Honest.

Ever wonder why salmon is called ’sake’, as in ‘Nigiri sake’, and the rice wine (that’s really a beer) you drink with it is called ’sake’ too?

Apparently the Japanese language is just rife with homophones. ‘Kiki’, for example, means ‘chrysanthemum’, ‘to be effective’ and ‘to listen to’. It’s complex.

But there’s more! From this Japan Times Online report on the decline of the Japanese language we learn the following:

“Anata Setsumei Dekimasu ka (Can You Explain It?)” on TBS (Wednesdays, 7:25 p.m.) asks hapless celebrity contestants to try to explain the difference between frequently confused words or phrases in Japanese. In one recent episode, for example, viewers learned the difference between sake (salmon, the fish itself) and shake (salmon after it has been prepared for human consumption).

All we need now is a recipe that combines fish and drink, cause we all know fish must swim (three times, in water, butter and wine). Ah, there we go.

Yeah, Jamie, go on, be a bit more nicer to the chirrun.

The Dutch are known for and pride themselves on their command of the English language, but they’re a lot less good at it than they think they are. (Have you ever heard Dutch politicians speak English? Jaw droppingly bad.) Their need to show off their skills sometimes makes for hilarious examples. Check the blog for some.

English is also thought of as ‘cool’ by copy writers, so we’re treated to mostly inapropriate and often cringeworthy English-language advertising: literal translations, grammatical errors, etc.

I’ve always thought I should keep track of them, write them down, but I never do. Now I don’t have to. Awe, as they say, some.

My English is bloody good, but it is far from perfect. I started learning English at a very young age, 6 or 7, through English speaking relatives. In primary school we started age 10, it was a new initiative of the school I was at. I believe it’s standard practice now, but I’m not sure. By the age of 12 I was more fluent than my teachers and did my school friends’ homework and their written tests. We had a ’system’. Our teacher suspected what was happening, but he couldn’t prove it and never caught us.

Sometimes I make ‘Dunglish’-type mistakes, especially when I get tired. When I’m abroad, speaking English, for more than three weeks, something happens to the language part of my brain. I’ll open my mouth and *think* I’m speaking English, but Dutch will come out and it takes a few seconds for me to realise it. A few vodka tonics fixes the problem. Do I think in English? Yes.

very interesting point. i came to think in english over the last couple of years, even if i speak german most of the time. by now i´m reading exclusively english books, plus i am writing my thesis in english, so probably that´s why…..but i´m even more far from being perfect, sometimes i think of myself using to many platitudes in my speaking and writing.
bernhard (link) – 21 March 2005 – 13:36

Thanks for mentioning my site! Have a nice day, Natasha.
Natasha (link) – 31 May 2005 – 19:51