prolific.org » comic

Don’t you know you’re driving your mammas and pappas insane?

Caroline — Tue, 27 Sep 2005 02:22:04 +0000

A friend’s son turned 11 today and, spurred on by Mr Hg, I bought him his first David Bowie CD, fully intent on corrupting his young mind. I got him a Donald Duck comic and a scientific youth mag too, just to be on the safe side.

He’s growing up quite sheltered and seems petrified of going to high school next year, where there are ‘bigger boys with gel in their hair’. I don’t think he was ready for the CD, but his mum liked it. I had hoped he’d pick up on the ‘space’ theme and be intrigued by Major Tom, but I forgot he doesn’t understand English yet. Hopefully he’ll remember the CD is his and will come back to it in a year or two.

The two younger sisters asked me to teach them to eat with chopsticks, the minute I walked through the door. I think their hands were still a little too small to learn. Or I’m a crap teacher.

But I’d like to think I am a better teacher than their brother’s primary school ‘master’. I was shown one of this man’s hand outs, containing 25 ‘true/false’ statements about America. It was full of spelling mistakes and some very dubious questions. Sample question / spelling:

Q: ‘The Biggest park in New york is called Yellow stone Park’
A: True

The guy should be flogged. If I had kids, I’d only want the best of the best to teach them. Wouldn’t you?

Sorry, but I hadn’t heard it before

Caroline — Fri, 04 Mar 2005 23:59:28 +0000

Comic Sans walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Says the bartender: “Sorry, we don’t serve your type here.”

(Heard on my new favourite BBC programme, The Culture Show. Must get that new Francis Bacon book.)

Ohhh. So so bad.

But so so good.
Gordon (link) – 04 March 2005 – 10:47

Tee hee! Saw the same show and thought about blogging the same joke! :)
Low (link) – 04 March 2005 – 12:53

I watched the show too. Funnier than the joke, was when the interviewer asked Matthew Carter what he thought of Arial, and he said at first, “You asked the wrong question”. Clearly he has the same opinion as Mark Simonson: http://www.ms-studio.com/articles.html (“The scourge of Arial”)
Keith Bell (link) – 04 March 2005 – 14:34

I thought it was funny to hear Tim Lott (who I respect as a writer) slag McCormick’s book ‘I was Bono’s doppelganger’. But surprised to find him so precious about the art of writing. Of course they had to get a dig in towards the internet and blogs. Threatened, much?
Caroline (link) – 04 March 2005 – 15:09

Thanks for the joke. My friend told me the other day that if she was ever to have another daughter she would name her Verdana. That made me laugh, too.
Mary (link) – 07 March 2005 – 01:19

Me, I want to design an all-curlicue font called Pan Serif.
Jim – 07 March 2005 – 01:20