Feb 17, 2005
Party scene. Crowded. He brings her in, comes over, kisses me while she avoids me. They sit down at the table behind me. I can hear them fight.
“I can’t do it with HER here,” she says and I turn around.
She is laid out on a silver plate. Her hair is done up and wrapped in a black nylon balaclava like the queen in Disney’s Snow White. Her neck is Modigliani-long. From the shoulders down she is… fish. Sashimi. Glittering cuts of silver and blue herring.
I wake up.
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Feb 14, 2005
Have been quite ill since Thursday afternoon. I’ve felt exhausted since my last flu (late November) and this time the virus struck an already wrecked system. Fever rose quickly to 39.5 (103F) and hovered around that for four days. The worst (I hope) was last night as I could not find sleep and had to turn down the heating and sip ice water to cool down. The bed was uncomfortable – when I’m flat on my back or on my side, I start wheezing and eventually coughing – so I moved to the couch so I could prop up my back a little better and stay upright. I came close to phoning emergency, because I just didn’t know what to do with myself anymore. The fever broke in the morning, but the thumping headache stayed. Took a gamble and took some migraine meds. Seems to have done the trick. I can’t say I’ve been having the happiest thoughts.
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