prolific.org

Out with the old…, originally uploaded by Caroline.

I got myself an iPhone 3Gs recently. It’s a lovely toy, but t-mobile’s network isn’t very reliable. I have no range at all anywhere in my office which makes the phone pretty useless to me for a large part of the day. This means I have to keep carrying my N95 around. I am not someone who makes a lot of phone calls, so I’m not that badly affected, but I do need to be contactable for the people that do ring me.

Texting people using a QWERTY keyboard takes getting used to and it doesn’t feel like texting anymore. More like sending an e-mail. It’s a different experience.

So far I have mostly used the iPhone for live blogging / twittering U2 shows, and – surprisingly – to play games. Pool and snooker in particular.

The camera is fun especially in combination with the photographic apps available from the iTunes store. Putting the release button on the screen however not very practical. It makes it especially hard to take pictures of yourself, which is what a lot of people do with their mobiles.

Apple seems to be hell bent on ‘rethinking’ mobile use, ignoring 15 or so years of advancing mobile technology as developed by leading mobile companies. No file transfer via Bluetooth? Why the hell not? Why do we have to rely on wifi or network to share files among eachother? This is especially tiresome while travelling abroad when you are dealing with exorbitant roaming costs. Perhaps Apple’s developers have never travelled abroad.

Entertainment value: 10
Business usefulness: 0

My $#*&*%$!! Nokla 3650 broke at exactly the wrong moment, on the eve of the funeral. With a cousin who doesn’t know his way around Amsterdam driving down from Paris to pick me up in the morning. So instead of taking the time, as planned, to sort out which new telco and service to pick (as my current sub is due to end soon) I had to rush into town to get me something really quickly. The sales boy (so young I can’t possibly call him a man) had an easy time with me rushing into buying something off him. Still, he didn’t expect me to ask what OS the phones had. Isn’t that his job to know?

And so I ended up with that damn Sony Ericsson K750i (with the 2.0 mp camera in it) that all my mates seem to have and another TWO years stuck with KPN (to cut down the price on the phone) since I couldn’t afford a whole lot right now. ‘Annoyed’ doesn’t describe it. I had been thinking of switching to T-mobile. And sticking with Nokia, but they didn’t have any of the pretty models.

My home phone is dying as well, most of the time I don’t notice. My cousin just rang and I could barely make out his question through the flakey connecton: ‘what about flowers’. And I hadn’t thought of that at all and god dammit we’re a fucking useless family, but I think, or I hope we can just about order something in time tomorrow morning via Interflora. And those bastards don’t half rip you off for a funeral wreath, do they? Christ.

Fucking. useless. us.

One thing I’m not doing is panicking over what to wear, the quintessential funereal stress. My calculating self picked up something suitable in New York.

Hello?
Hmmrrvvw
Is that you?
MwwImmmmtrappednerveinmebackgrrheavypainkillerzz.
That sounds bad.
RvvrvwoarrestingthenflyinintoDingletuesdaynightcantriskdaroads.
Oh dear.
Whenaayoucommenin?
Tuesday evening, coach from Cork to Tralee then on to Dingle.
Isziscostinyouaforchune?
Yeah. It’s ok, it’s my Christmas holiday.
Waahtwonightsinbloodydingle?
I’ll go to Dublin after.
Hrrmhayoushomewhedastay.
Sorry?
Mmmindingle?
…
//sigh// Have. you. a. hotel. to. stay. at?
Um, yeah… B&B.
Hmmthacoubequaint
It’s overlooking the harbour.
Deesounchuksat12comealongtotha’
Ok, yeah, I will.
Wellah.. ahmeetchu… ahtexchuwhenIcomein…
OK, take care now, look after yourself.
Moutamahhead. Mgonnasleep. Ahmonheavymedicashun…
I know. Go to bed now.
Mmkaybyeiwillseeyoutuesdaynigh…

We’re dependant on the network’s reach.

It’s been a while, a week, or more, or less. My head’s been killing me and my shoulders ache in synch. I got a signal outside, he says. How are ya? OK, I say and pause. Continue: moody, up and down like usual.

He says I need a break. I know, I say. I’ve got one coming up in August.

What are my plans, he wants to know. I stretch out on the sofa and listen to his footsteps and the wind blowing as he walks the road to Mizen head. Any further out West and he’d be in Americay.

Marseille, ’cause I like harbours, I proclaim, or maybe Nice, the flights are cheaper. I don’t know and I’ve no money either. It’s tough on your own, I confess.

That’s life, baby.

I remember Mizen head and the journey home — how that man and I listened to the radio as they took Diana to Westminster Abbey. That was the end of that, the golden girl and our tryst laid to rest in one sad week.

Take a train, he says, like he’s read my mind. Like he always does. (“Why don’t you move to Amsterdam?”) I might just do that. Take a train. Travel.

There’s no train to Mizen head.

Hey. Are you in the middle of it?

No.

Are you at work?

No, at home.

Can you… um… I have a computer question. Are you an iBook person?

// you KNOW I don’t have an iBook //

I don’t have an iBook, but I’m sure I can help you. I’ve helped you before, remember?

Yeah. Well, you see, my mail is all fucked up. You know new mail always comes in at the top? Well now it’s all messed up and it comes in somewhere in the middle and I can’t find it.

Sounds like it’s sorting on subject, not on date.

// Other phone rings //

Hello? HELLO? Well FUCK OFF so.

// Doorbell rings //

Now the doorbell rings. I’m fucking on the phone. This is my life. This is my life for the last month. Hello? How’ye. I’m on the phone. Yeah, um…

Your mail.

Yeah, um… it’s messed up.

Are you near your computer?

I was opening the door! [...] I’ll start it up. It’s warming up now. Anyway, while it’s doing that…

(30 minute convo)

OK, so take it easy…

But what about your mail?

Huh?

I was supposed to help you with your mail.

Oh… yeah, um…

What e-mail programme do you use? Entourage?

No. Um… I don’t know. Just…

OK, look at your mail. See the column with the date? Go right to the top. What’s there?

Um… there’s a little light to see how much battery you have and…

No, in your mail programme. Your mail is divided into columns. What’s at the top of your date column? Can you click that?

I don’t understand.

Riiight…

I’m sorry, I am not very good at this.

Etc.