The Da Vinci Code, glorified fanfic
Posted: February 29th, 2004 | Filed under: Books | Tags: bill and ted, comic book villains, da vinci code, dan brown, fanfic, harvard professor, hero of the story, heroes, heroine, indiana jones, keanu reeves, mary sue, movie pitches, new york times, new york times bestseller, pendulum, pg 13, poor man, symbology, york times bestseller | 3 Comments »
The Da Vinci Code is one of the most annoying books movie pitches I have ever read. The (stupendously flat) characters bore each other, themselves and the poor unfortunate readers to death with their endless expositioning. It’s a sweet ‘n’ lo version of Foucault’s Pendulum.
Dan Brown’s writing reminds me of PG-13 fanfic and children’s literature. The hero of the story, a poor man’s Indiana Jones, is supposed to be a Harvard professor. He quotes from a copy of ‘My First Symbology’ with the depth of Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and runs around Paris with his very own Mary-Sue-type heroine encountering comic book villains left and right.
Whodunnit? By the end of the story I couldn’t care less. Dan, seriously, if you want to write fanfic, at least make it a hard R and let your heroes shag already.
That’ll teach me picking up a book with a cover that says “The Number One New York Times Bestseller”.
