I’ve just about heard enough about football now. All around me people are obsessed… and in typically Dutch fashion, although the team are winning, everybody’s moaning about everything: the coach isn’t using the right players, the players are assholes and they probably all hate each other, the referee is an idiot, all the other countries’ fans are morons and all the other countries’ commentators are plotting against ‘us’.

The only thing people seem to be proud of is the fact that the mad Dutch fans in France aren’t violent. That makes them better than the other fans, you know. People allow themselves a very simplistic view of the world when they’re swept away by the World Cup.

“What are you all going to do after the World Cup… there’ll be a big black hole,” I joked. “No, we’ll have Wimbledon… and then the Tour de France!”


It’s only a game.